Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief: On Beliefs and Faith

I initially started this post a few weeks ago on certainty and how atheism could be seen as more of a box than (classical) theism. I could still write that post, but now is not the time. Instead, we're going to read a story, retell it, and then explain it.

Icon of Christ healing the demon possessed boy

http://www.uncutmountainsupply.com/icons/of-christ/his-miracles-and-parables/christ-heals-the-demon-possessed-boy-11l54/

A Story: The Healing of a Boy

When they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and some scribes arguing with them. When the whole crowd saw him, they were immediately overcome with awe, and they ran forward to greet him. He asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?” Someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought you my son; he has a spirit that makes him unable to speak;  and whenever it seizes him, it dashes him down; and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid; and I asked your disciples to cast it out, but they could not do so.”  He answered them, “You faithless generation, how much longer must I be among you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him to me.”  And they brought the boy to him. When the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy,  and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. It has often cast him into the fire and into the water, to destroy him; but if you are able to do anything, have pity on us and help us.”  Jesus said to him, “If you are able!—All things can be done for the one who believes.”  Immediately the father of the child cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!”  When Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You spirit that keeps this boy from speaking and hearing, I command you, come out of him, and never enter him again!”

To read this story as story, one doesn't need to accept that it happened in history. One could deny the narrative and still miss the story - the underlying arc that reads the actions to us. This idea of story, the reading of a narrative/action/situation/whatever, is what is important for us to act upon. So, let's begin.

The Crowd Argues

This story begins before the narrative starts. A man has a child that is possessed by a spirit that makes him act out and have "seizures" - being seized by the unexplainable. He has presumably tried all the folk remedies he knows, or has dismissed them as pure nonsense. The eye of newt isn't brute enough. He's tried everything that he could do on his own and now turns to others. He approaches his religious leaders, the scribes, and asks what they could do. They sadly say they can't do anything and that he is shit out of luck.

Out of desperation, he runs to this bizarre cult and asks if they could help out the boy he loves. And these fishermen claim they can't do anything about it but that their leader could. However, they say that he is out and about raising prophets and changing the weather.

The scribes cross paths with the man and see him talking to the disciples of this mystery religion and approach the group. The scribes are furious and argue with the disciples about how they are nothing but disillusioned fanatics misinterpreting the Torah and making a man an idol. And the disciples claim that they're the true heirs of Abraham. Both groups are certain of their status in the eyes of God, yet forget the boy. They continued to argue.

All this man wants is his child to be healthy and free from the tyranny of the demon in control. He loves his son and has tried everything he could possibly do to help him. He has gone to the ends of the Earth to save the only thing that matters to him and has been caught up in the middle of an argument that don't matter much to him at the present moment.

Jesus Christ: Good Shepherd

http://www.vocations.ca/Prayers/Meditations/2010_September/2010_09_12.php

Enter "Him": Stage Left

A man comes up to the crowd and asks them what the fuss is about. They turn and look at him, awestruck by the composure he has and the aura around him. He looks around, waiting for an answer, to no avail. The man with the sick boy comes up to him and says, "Teacher, Rabbi, my son is sick and I can't do anything for him. He foams at the mouth, he grinds his teeth, he becomes rigid. I love him so much and have asked my leaders and your disciples to free him from this spirit, but they can't." And Jesus, filled with anger or pure empathy, turns and says, "How can you be so stupid? What is wrong with you. Is not this man and his boy in pain because of the inadequacy of your faith? Bring this man's boy to me". Being humbled, the crowd obeys.

The Demon Casted Away

As the crowd brings the boy to him, the boy angers and convulses. Full of distress, this sickness can no longer hold back. The sickness gains control of the boy and rolls around in ecstasy. The man, Jesus, looks upon the boy and asks, "How long has this been happening?" The Father bending down caresses his son, "Since he was an infant. This spirit throws him into fire and water, hoping to burn him and drown him." Tears run down his cheeks, "I can't do this anymore. Please, teacher, if you can do anything, please heal him. Please." Jesus, holding the hand of the boy looks up, "If I can? All things can be done for the one who has faith." The man, out of pure rejection from the others, out of longing for health, out of anger, out of everything he feels, reaches out to the boy and Jesus. He cries, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" With the crowd in fear and the man in desperation, Jesus casts out the demon from the boy.

Beliefs vs. Faith

If one reads closely the original story from Mark 9 and my retelling of the story, you can see that the man is never certain about whether or not his boy will be healed. This man, by proclaiming, "I believe; help my unbelief" has put himself in a state of unknowing - a place we often find ourselves in today. As Peter Rollins explains it, we live in-between the Pleasure Principle and Reality Principle.

The Pleasure Principle is that which we long for in our lives, things like wholeness, completeness, etc. And things like western religion, fame, relationships, etc. tend to claim that they'll bring these "Ultimates" into fruition. So we strive for them. We want the certainty of knowing we'll be happy and fulfilled.

The Reality Principle is that state were we realize that we won't get what we want and so we detach ourselves from living, society and everything. Like in the video above, maybe we binge a show we don't like, as a "fuck you" to the meaninglessness of the Pleasure Principle journey. Or maybe we detach by becoming jerks over the internet, patting ourselves on the back for "knowing" something that other people don't. A certainty of "superior" knowledge that life is ultimately arbitrary and doesn't matter at all.

But for the vast majority of people, we live between these two states. Maybe you go to church on Sunday to feel complete for the week. By the end of the week, however, you are back to living as if none of it matters anyway. The Spiritual High is lost in the normal day-to-day living. And so, we are caught between the certainty of the ability to be full and the certainty of the fact that the fullness will go away again.

The Story and the Principles

This is how the story fits into place. To Jesus, the act of healing doesn't begin with a certain statement of "I believe" nor does it stop if the man were to say, "I don't believe". Rather, the act of healing happens when the man gives up on trying, gives up on certainty, and cries, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief". That's when Grace appears.

Grace and healing does not happen when you articulate the correct doctrine or practice the correct actions, it happens in a state where you acknowledge where you truly are and that there is nothing you can do. This Grace isn't earned by being good or being bad. You don't even have to accept this Grace, it just is. You can't do anything about it. One is filled with Grace when one sees this. And others see this Grace when you do the same thing it does: heals by accepting.

It's okay to doubt and question for that is the Reality of things. It's okay to go to others for help, it's what you want. But Grace doesn't care about either of those things. Grace heals when one sees that to believe is to be in a state of unbelief. The story of the healing of the boy is a perfect example of this. The man goes to everybody and asks for help. They get caught up in the fact they can't and argue over who knows what. Yet, when Jesus comes up to the crowd and sees this arguing going on, he knows that the arguments are pointless. He calls them a "faithless generation" and asks how long he must put up with all of them. They're not faithless because they didn't believe in God or because they didn't try to achieve to healing themselves, they're faithless because they aren't in Grace. To have faith is to join in with the man and say, "I believe; help my unbelief!". Grace is acknowledgement of the uncertainty of reality and saying, that's okay. To be is to exist, and to exist is to be in Grace.