My Brother Died Suddenly and That's Okay

"1. Is what you're saying helping anyone?"
- The first rule in Everson Guild's Guide to Being Awesome (2002-2017)

Death and the Question of Evil

This year, on July 24th, my 14-year-old brother, Everson Guild, passed away unexpectedly. My whole family was in shock. He was too athletic, too outgoing, and too healthy to die so soon. There were no signs of any disease or defect and no drugs in his system according to the autopsy. So, how did he die? We don't know and may never know. My family (and loads of his friends) is content without knowing the cause of his death. But, they certainly would love to know why he died. What purpose did it have? Why, when one of my family member's prayed and longed for him to live, did he still lay cold? These questions have haunted my family for the last 5 months like Halloween was going out of style. They linger in my family's heads and hearts as if the questions themselves were trapped in a tomb. And yet, every shovel people try to use sees to crack an inch into the ground. Useless tools.

The keys that have been tried and tried again to open the gates of our heads never seem to vary from, "it's according to God's plan" or, "we don't know, but we need to trust in God". And yeah, it may make fit into the keyhole, but it doesn't turn. These stereotypical answers make sense because the majority of my family is religious. In fact, if I were to go into the church I was grew up in and asked a random bystander, "why do bad things happen to good people?" they would most likely choose one of the above answers to settle my emotions. Yet, I've never really been affected by this "problem of evil". I've always dismissed it - in my head, of course - as an unproductive question. To me, it'd be like asking, "how come I'm left-handed?" My answer to that would be the same answer to "how come an all powerful and loving god allows such horrible natural things happen to such innocent people?: Because it is what it is. Now, I've never said that to anybody who is going through trauma - especially my own family members - because I know it's not that good of an answer. Or, at least it's only the tip of an ice berg.

That's why I'm writing this  post. To help myself explain what I mean by that. To be honest, it wasn't up until recently that I've been able to even scratch the surface. Quite frankly, I don't think I'll have a full blown explanation. But, I want to try to give one anyway. Hopefully it'll be a little helpful, or at least make you think. Maybe even give you an answer that will push you to contemplate/pray to figure out the deeper Truth that is hidden underneath this veil. As a reminder, what follows is not an argument for the existence of God. It is merely a sketch of what I believe the nature of Creation and God is with a conclusion on why I think it's okay that my brother died.

I've been thinking how come I say, "it is what it is" since Everson passed away. But, it wasn't until recently that I started articulating it. I started on Reddit a few days ago in relation to other topics. Having to argue my beliefs made me realize how completely shitty an answer "it is what it is"...is. I haven't totally disregarded that statement, but I think I'm able to finally articulate the purpose of me stating it that way - regardless of how unsustainable it looks. In fact, it looks like I don't care about people. It makes it seems like I don't think it's sad or horrible that disasters happen. But I do. And so I'm here to explain my answer.

God doesn't exist - deal with it.

It begins with our concept of the word, "God". God is not a being. If God were a being, God would be confined to the rules of whatever realm he dwells in. God would also need an explanation of why God exists. So, to say God is a being is to limit God. And that would be no different than a Zeus or a Flying Spaghetti Monster, hence the ability for atheists to say, "The only difference is that I believe in one god less than you". Therefore, God cannot exist in the way we exist. God cannot be as we are. Or as only a programmer to a video game. He would be limited to that role. Therefore, it is perfectly acceptable to say: God does not exit.

God/The Divine/whatever term you use, is transcendent to our notions of "being". To be transcendent does not mean to be like a ship outside Earth's orbit, but to be in, through, and over Creation. As all other objects (material and immaterial) in the universe, the universe itself needs a source. It doesn't matter if the universe is infinite because it still has the quality of "existence". The universe still "is". In a literal sense, you cannot create something out of nothing. Just like light can shine through window thanks to the sun, so does the universe exist through participation in the Divine. And just how it seems that light is ever present, so the Divine is ever present. Please don't take this metaphor too far. Just because light is seen only during the day time, if the conditions are right, doesn't mean that God is only found in certain parts of "Existence"/"Being". To be always transcendent means to be always immanent. Being participates in this "Being Beyond Being". Metaphors are only fingers pointing to a beautiful moon, not the moon itself. David Bentley Hart puts it another way:

Christian metaphysical tradition, in both the Orthodox East and the Catholic west, asserts that God is not good but goodness itself, not only true or beautiful but infinite truth and beauty: that all the transcendental perfections are one in him who is the source and end of all things, the infinite wellspring of being.  

- The Doors of the Sea: Where was God in the Tsunami? (emphases mine)

This premise, that we participate in the Divine by the very nature of "Existence" itself being contingent like light, can lead us to a couple of questions: Why does Existence, exist? and What is the purpose of Existence? Firstly we will follow path one, taking us down to the nitty gritty. Our original question, "the problem of evil", is itself a "Why" question and not a "what" question. Our purposes are different than path two (for now).

Why does Existence, exist?

Existence... well, exists. We know that, duh. And it is due to the fact we participate in it. We experience Life and Being. We can smell roses down a pathway or taste the fruit of a tree. We can feel heat from the sun and see with the sun. (On a semi-related note, here's a quote by C.S. Lewis: "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else"). So, "Being" itself is OR "Existence" itself exists. Nobody doubts that. So, why does Existence exist in the first place? To answer that, we have to concede something about the Divine that naturally follows from our account of creation thus far. That is, God is Perfection and Love.

In a culture that is post-Christian, we've all heard that about God: God is all loving. But, that statement may be more misleading than you think, if not wrong. When most people say an object is attributed a property (i.e. the ball is red), they usually mean that an object participates in the property (i.e. the ball is red because it has redness. It partakes in redness. It can also go the other way: This specific instance of red is a ball because it participates in "ballness"). So, to say that God is  loving, is to make an incorrect statement. The Divine doesn't participate in the notion of "love" (else "love" would be above God) but simply is love. I really hope you can see the difference. If not, moving forward won't help at all. God must, by his very nature, be all forms of Perfection. Otherwise, God is merely a being stuck in a higher level than us and still limited by higher things i.e. Beauty, Love, Goodness, etc. And thus, not be the source of all contingencies, but merely a mediator between the Absolute and Creation. But, we use Absolute/the Divine/God/whatever as interchangeable word and thus it doesn't matter as long as we concede that whatever word is use is understood as the accumulation/sum of all forms i.e. Perfection itself.

Why did Perfection create in the first place? It relies on at least two things: Perfection is Love and Perfect Love is giving oneself to another. We've seen and slightly argued for Perfection "being" Love, but not Love being the gift of oneself. Being a Christian, I could pull out a bible verse ("No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15:13 NRSV), but the people who usually succumb to using "the problem of evil" as a valid reason for not believing in The Absolute don't accept the bible as an authoritative text (I could as likely pull from Christian Tradition, but even that isn't good enough for some Christians [!]). So, how can we defend the notion of love as a giving up of self? I would say that it's in our intuition. When parents say they love their children, they'll say they'll jump in front of a bullet to save them. When a lover tells another that they love them, they want to become one wit that person: live together, sleep together, etc. In every notion of the word "love" we see hints, if not outright statements, of the lover giving herself up to her beloved. And, If the Divine is Perfect Love, then the Divine cannot do anything but give itself up. And here's our dilemma. The Absolute had nothing to give itself up to. The Absolute "was" all there "was". So, the Absolute needed to create Existence, else the Divine couldn't "be". Thus here we are.

This brings us to the question before the question: Why didn't this "loving god" create a "perfect world"? That is an illogical question. To put it another way: Why didn't Perfection breath Perfection? If Perfection were to create Perfection, it would be creating itself. Not only is that impossible (ex. can we clone a sheep that is the same in all ways including thoughts and experiences) but also selfish. And as we can see by what Perfection is, Perfection wouldn't do that. It'd be contradictory. So, Existence must have imperfection i.e. time, and "free will" as popularly understood. What we have to distinguish between then is imperfection and badness/evil/ungood. Would you say that just because your friend accidentally hung up on you during a conversation (imperfect) that that would constitute the hanging up as bad? Or, when you draw a circle, it's not perfect but it's not bad (ungood). You may say it's a bad circle, but what you really mean is that it has zero imperfections. Therefore, just because Existence has imperfections does not mean it is inherently bad.

Here comes the tricky part - as if the above is easy to comprehend. If imperfection isn't inherently bad, then how did badness come into play? That's why I mentioned "free will" as being imperfect. Free will, as popularly understood, means we have to choose between options. Whether we choose A or B. Cool. However, that is still a limit. We are limited by our history, by our beliefs, by other factors. we are not truly Free. So, understood in that way, Freedom is being free from such limitations:

His freedom is the impossibility of any force, pathos, or potentiality interrupting the perfection of his nature or hindering him in the realization of his own illimitable goodness, in himself and in his creatures. To be "capable"of evil - to be able to do evil or to be affected by an encounter with it - would in fact be an incapacity of God; and to require evil to bring about his good ends would make him less than the God he is. The object of God's will is his own infinite goodness, and it is an object perfectly realized, and so he is free.

- ibid (first emphasis mine)

So, we are imperfect insomuch as we are limited by time, material, etc. With these limitations come with the limitations of not being able to see the consequences of our actions ("With such permanence as time has. . . .
Time the destroyer is time the preserver . . . ." T.S. Eliot). Creation was tempted by the imperfection. Creation (or in the specifics, humanity) chose to eat the forbidden fruit. So, badness came into Existence when Existence chose the temptation of its own nature instead of that which is Good. Therefore, we are trapped in chains...and here we are to prove that. Now that we know why bad things happen - by us not knowing our consequences according to the necessary imperfection of time and "free will" - we have to figure out how come the Divine hasn't done a single thing about it. That brings us to path two: what is the Purpose of Existence?

What is the purpose of Existence?

If we concede that Being exists by participating in Love and Being is imperfect, then what was the purpose? If we are to be imperfect, why allow imperfection to exist in the first place? We have to remember that Perfect love wants to always give itself to the other. And if we remember that, then the purpose of imperfection was to become Perfection. Existence was to fully participate in "non-Existence" inasmuch as we it is Created and "non-Existence" is Uncreate. This is where the crucial difference between in why we were created and what our purpose is. If we remember back to earlier, we saw that we are necessarily imperfect otherwise Perfection was to create itself. This is where the split is: We are necessarily Created, Perfection is not. That is the driving force that separates our "beginnings". We aren't required to exist, but because the Divine is uninhibited by the forces we are, the Divine creates us out of itself and continually wants to give itself to us. And that is our purpose: Because Love continually wants to give itself, it wants Existence to fully partake in itself. Just how gravity pulls things toward the center, so does love pull Existence toward the center: Perfection. Yet, if we are necessarily created and imperfect, how does Love do that? And that is were Incarnation comes into play.

Incarnation

Some people like to say that Jesus came to save us from God's wrath - or whatever. And I say, to Hell with that! Jesus came for one main reason and one secondary reason:

1. To bridge that "gap" of time and material between Perfection and Imperfection.

2. To set us free from the chains and heal us of the sickness.

As we stated our purpose: To Be Love AKA Go back to the Source (the longing we intuitively have), we also noted how we couldn't have been created in that state. To solve that problem, the Fully Divine would have to become the Fully Existence. That is to say, build a road from New York to Athens. If that was the initial plan, the logos / the tao / the Son would HAVE to indwell Existence - regardless if Evil existed or not. Otherwise, Love couldn't give itself totally, and thus wouldn't be Perfect Love. Therefore, Incarnation was bound to happen regardless of sin. But, there was sin.

Evil, as we saw, entered into the world by Creation falling into a trap set by eating the fruit. By falling into imperfection, instead of merely accepting its existence. It sought after the imperfect, lured and poisoned by its luster. Creation contracted a sickness. And this is where I have to pull bible verses out (for the Christians out there who say sin in other than captivity or sickness).

When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, they said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” When Jesus heard this, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners. (Mark 2:16-17)

When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” But when he heard this, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.” (Matthew 9:11-13)

The Pharisees and their scribes were complaining to his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” Jesus answered, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:30-32)

As for me, I said, “O Lord, be gracious to me; heal me, for I have sinned against you.” (Psalm 41:4) 

Ah, sinful nation, people laden with iniquity, offspring who do evil, children who deal corruptly, who have forsaken the Lord, who have despised the Holy One of Israel, who are utterly estranged! Why do you seek further beatings? Why do you continue to rebel? The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint (Isaiah 1:4-5)

 As we can see, sin/evil/bad/whatever is seen as a sickness. And the only true cure for a sickness is to go to its very self. And that is what Jesus did. He went to Death itself, tricked death into thinking it could hold him, but by being Fully Divine, Death was "tricked" and forced away - as seen in the Resurrection. Thus setting the captives free.

Back to the Beginning

There are a few main things you have to understand to be able to show that the "problem of evil" is no problem at all, but a façade to mask those who can't contemplate existence:

1. God does not exist but transcends our very notions of existence.
2. By the very nature of the Divine, it is Perfection.
3. Perfection, as it is, encompasses Perfect Love.
4. Because to love is to give one's self, Perfect Love is to give all itself to the Other.
4. There was no Other, so Perfection breathes(d) Existence.
5. But, because Perfection is Perfection, Existence has to be Imperfect, else Perfection creates itself and is selfish and unloving.
6. Therefore, Existence is necessarily tinged with imperfection.
7. Perfection, being Perfect Love, wants to fully give itself to Existence and therefore "wants" it to fully participate.
8. Therefore Perfection must clear imperfection, allowing Existence to fulfill that purpose.
9. Perfection, by being Perfection is free from limitations and time and other imperfections.
10. Bound to time and other limits, Existence cannot know the consequences of its decisions.
11. Existence, lured by imperfection, fell captive to it and is enslaved to it.
12. Perfection, being Perfect Love, wants to fully give itself to Existence and therefore "wants" it to fully participate.
13. By Incarnation, Perfect love Fully indwells in Full Existence, finishing its initial breath.
14. By death, Fully Divine goes to the belly of the sickness and cures it.
15. By the Resurrection, we can see this in fruition.

In life then, the "problem of evil" is the wrong question to be asking. It is what is. So, that leaves us with one other question that will determine the rest of Existence. And so, my brother dying makes sense without there being an overarching purpose, yet still with God. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Our purpose is to be Love. To help those that have gone through similar events. To mourn with those who mourn. To laugh with those who laugh. Is what I'm saying helping anyone? I hope so. I really hope so, bro. Amen.